Latest x-rays....

For the last month or so, the progress, or rather lack thereof, that my arm has been making, has been really getting me down. There have been days when it feels pretty strong and pain free, and I get a little optimistic. But then if I'm weak doing pushups, or opening a heavy door gives me pain, or it stays sore for days, or even when I just see that long purple scar, I am reminded again how my body has been changed forever. That it will never be what it once was. Part of it is just asthetics, and I believe after a time I will adjust to that, because really that's just my ego, and I am learning to let that go. Shit, I'm 45 years old. LOTS of parts ain't what they used to be. But the other part is the loss of some function - and I doubt I can ever adjust to THAT. My broken-armed friends (I have quite a few of them) have said that after a time, they feel no real difference between arms. I thought healing would be linear- with no steps backwards. I've since seen that that's not so. 4 months since breaking it, I flew a glider again. 5 months, and I flew my Litespeed. But my arm isn't right really. It feels like around 90%. And 90% isn't going to make me feel comfortable flying and racing hang gliders again- or even just going XC- or even just flying in ratty air. I didn't expect 100% at this point, but I have had the feeling for this last month that I will never GET 100%. I've been trying to prepare myself for this huge letdown, and I was seeking out discussions with others who have had to curb the kind of flying they can do due to age or injury (or even fear). And I've just been getting really down.

So I went to see my bone doctor yesterday and she took these x-rays. After I told her about the way my elbow creaks and cracks and feels sore, and I showed her the thing jutting unnaturally from there, she said she was going to take all the hardware out of my arm. Not now, but after a time. I about died. The thought of having to go through any part of this healing process over again felt like a kick in the stomach. Then there were all the thoughts about the actual surgery and drills and more scars and how much of all this metal had bone grown around it... ugh... more than I could take. After talking about it for a while with her (this lady is good at listening/hearing/explaining) I began to realize that what she was talking about was getting me back to 100%. I was still flipping out about it when I left her office, but the things she said slowly sank in as the day wore on and for the first time in months, I feel really hopeful about how this will all turn out. First and foremost is that this doctor realizes just how much range and strength and finesse it takes to fly hang gliders. And instead of saying, "well, you shouldn't have been doing that nonsense in the first place" or "guess you'll have to put that behind you now", she's saying "We need to make this right, and in the meantime, get back upon that horse and fly your ass off so you're stronger going into the second surgery". Holy crap! That's a pretty cool prescription!!!! She suspected when she first saw me in May that I might have the kind of problems I'm having with the lengths of the plates that were put in. It's beginning to fit really well in my head- the thought of having all this crap removed. I'll wait a full year from now, so I'm not missing as much of the season. All she asked me to do was not break it again before then because it'll be a REALLY BIG mess to fix, and she's not up for that... So I'll pick my conditions and do the very best I can to minimize landing risks, but I'm not going to settle for less than what I can get back out of my arm in the long run.

peace OUT!!!!

Sweet pics from Harris Hill on Saturday. Thanks to Todd Sheehan!

First Litespeed flight since May 6 2009...

Didn't even need the 4 leaf clover- this was after landing-Breaking down with Matt Calladine- I was so not dressed for this chilly Autumn day.

Saturday October 10, Sunday October 11 -Harris Hill in Big Flats, New York

Saturday was windy, but it was supposed to get calmer later. I took both the Litespeed and the XT145 and when I got to H-port and saw everyone watching it blow hard and slightly west cross, it took like 2 seconds to talk everyone into heading to Harris. Katrin and Karl had left their gliders up top when they went down to get Jorge, but wanted to join us so I threw their BUNCH of gliders on top of mine and off we went.
No locals were at Harris so we called the airport and reluctantly began settingup. It was 3pm and still pretty rowdy. My dog can be free to roam a bit here and the launch and landing are so much less stressful that H-port, so I set up my Litespeed. I kited the Arcus for a bit and watched a scary Jordan flight that ended okay but aged us all a bit. Bill launched and showed us how nice (but still strong) it was and after a bit, I got ready. My launch was funny in a way- I transitioned both hand simultaneously and hitched head down right away. The air was so solid and smooth but still, a really weird thing to do in any case.
It was easy to get up, 100 meters or so was about it, but it was easy and smooth and SO SWEET to be flying MY glider again!!!! What a great handling glider. It felt so solid and right. After a while the ridge got a little crowded and even though I was above the peanut gallery, I left to have no approach issues in the LZ. It was shutting down and I knew they would all be joining me. I had a great landing in no wind and as I was carrying my glider to break it down, I just started bawling. Bill was there and asked me what hurt- but nothing did- it was just such a relief to be back... totally back... It was pretty overwhelming. The Rochester contingent (besides Todd) headed to Bin Bin and shot the shit for a while before heading home.

Jorge looks pissed... bad Moo shoo?


Sunday, for some reason I drove back down to Harris Hill even though I saw some serious wind in the forecast. Not all models looked blown out and I wanted another go with the Litespeed- it had felt so good! Got 5 gliders on my car (in the pic one has already been unloaded) and brought Ed, Katrin and Karl on up from the LZ.

Blowing blowing blowing... but the streets! Holy crap! Ed and Dan were talking about flying to Binghampton! XC is out for me just yet, but I was jealous til I realized they were kidding.

Bill launched first again and Ed followed after a bit. Then Dan got ready.

Readier....

Still too rough looking for me, but Katrin launched really nicely into the strong air. Karl got into the slot after I noted the change in the cloud type on its way into the valley. I told him that something was about to change- big time. I didn't know if it would be for the better or for the worse, but the clouds were a huge change in the way the sky looked. 5 minutes after Katrin launched, it started HOWLING into the slot. Finally, Karl backed out. We watched it rip roar through and then Katrin was parked and heading out to land.



Katrin and Ed with the different clouds.

She hit some crap on the way to final approach and wound up harvesting a little corn. Rotor from the west hill was affecting the LZ and so I decided to pack it up. Karl did also and I high tailed it home.



My unflown glider at launch.....

Just under 500 miles of driving for 30 minutes of airtime! But it was really important airtime (not to mention the landing) and I feel like my injury is even more behind me now. I get new Xrays on Thursday so we'll see just how far behind me it all is. I also got some productive kiting on the PG so another plus... And...It was great to see Dan and Bill and Ed and Matt and Jorge and Karl and Katrin and Jordan and Todd...

getting back into it!!!